Okay, so on the November 20-23 weekend I was supposed to be loving life in Las Vegas. It didn’t work out. So here I was, stuck in Toronto with 2 days booked off work and the words “You could be at Chippendales RIGHT NOW” echoing through my mind. Thus began the quest to forget all about Sin City and amuse myself in my city.

Friday:

Surprise, surprise it begins with food. Even on a Friday at 11:00 am there was a bit of a wait at Aunties and Uncles – but well worth it. This place has a super homey, rustic feel and amazing food.

I ordered their special for the day: a breakfast sandwich with sausage, cheddar, pickled jalapeno, maple Dijon aioli and a fried egg. De-fucking-lish.

Next I headed to one of my favourite spa spots, Body Blitz. If you like Scandinave Spa in Blue Mountain, you’ll be a fan. I easily spent hours here, doing the “baths” cycle – alternating between different sources of heat (warm pool, Jacuzzi, steam room and sauna) and ending with an icy cold plunge. Invigorating is an understatement. Bear in mind, it’s a women’s only spa and bathing suits are optional. Naked ladies are aplenty.

I ended the night with some sushi and wine at a friend’s place, while watching a classic tale of struggle, sacrifice and true love: Chocolate City.

Monday:

More food! Kicked off the day with lunch at Lola’s Kitchen. They’re big on fresh, local, organic ingredients and have lots of healthy options on the menu. I got the grilled portobello mushroom and brie sandwich with caramelized onions, arugula, and maple Dijon aioli.

Next stop: Ripley’s aquarium. I didn’t go in with high expectations – it looks rather small and unimpressive from the outside. But once we got inside I discovered a whole world of strange, fascinating characters.

There were sharks, stingrays and jellyfish:

This not-to-be-fucked-with crab:

Seahorses who I can only assume are deeply in love:

This starfish, doing an excellent impression of me every Sunday afternoon:

THIS FACE:

Oh and everyone can calm the fuck down, because I found Nemo and Dora. You’re welcome.